September 26th, 2014

our era rises. // r.i.d

our era rises. // r.i.d

(via all-i-want-is-derek-sanders)

September 22nd, 2014
Sometimes, we hold on to people purely based on how long we have known them. Time can tie people together, but if you feel as though there’s nothing substantial keeping you connected, time is not a strong enough reason to hold on to something that’s simply no longer worth holding onto.
September 15th, 2014
Living life in the fast lane, that’s London for ya. I’m loving it, every single fun day. Work is relentless, and crazy, and maybe not as fun. But days go by fast when you’re living in the fast lane. 
I want it to slow down, just a little, so I can stop and just admire the beauty of it all. The sounds, the smells, for sure the scenes. The walks along the Thames pathway, the sunsets, and kids playing in the park. 
Hugs, my my do I love my hugs. I’m a massive cuddle monster, and I’ve wanted someone to share that with. Being able to lie on someone and to fall asleep is one of the most blessed things in life. The feeling of their breathing, the warmth of their skin, the way their body reacts as you touch it. The way they say stroke your hair and call you baby, that security, the safety, like nothing matters no more.
That. 
I want that. 

Living life in the fast lane, that’s London for ya. I’m loving it, every single fun day. Work is relentless, and crazy, and maybe not as fun. But days go by fast when you’re living in the fast lane. 

I want it to slow down, just a little, so I can stop and just admire the beauty of it all. The sounds, the smells, for sure the scenes. The walks along the Thames pathway, the sunsets, and kids playing in the park. 

Hugs, my my do I love my hugs. I’m a massive cuddle monster, and I’ve wanted someone to share that with. Being able to lie on someone and to fall asleep is one of the most blessed things in life. The feeling of their breathing, the warmth of their skin, the way their body reacts as you touch it. The way they say stroke your hair and call you baby, that security, the safety, like nothing matters no more.

That. 

I want that. 

(Source: speechless-mangacaps, via watermelonrobots)

thelovenotebook:
hah, first thing I saw on my feed. HILARIOUS.

thelovenotebook:

hah, first thing I saw on my feed. HILARIOUS.

(via kushandwisdom)

September 14th, 2014
This sums up him. He’s happy, he uses emoticons a lot, he’s talkative, he’s affectionate. He cooks well, and gives the best hugs. He makes cute noises and is highly intelligent. He’s driven, motivated, hard working. He’s everything that I wanted in another, yet why am I terrified of letting him in?

This sums up him. He’s happy, he uses emoticons a lot, he’s talkative, he’s affectionate. He cooks well, and gives the best hugs. He makes cute noises and is highly intelligent. He’s driven, motivated, hard working. He’s everything that I wanted in another, yet why am I terrified of letting him in?

(via marci1900)

I thought you were the most amazing boy ever. The one who stole my heart. But trampled on it, until I split, and bled, and left me there to rot. 
And one day you’ll realise just how much of a shit person you were. 
You need to grow up and stop destroying genuinely nice people’s lives. 

I thought you were the most amazing boy ever. The one who stole my heart. But trampled on it, until I split, and bled, and left me there to rot. 

And one day you’ll realise just how much of a shit person you were. 

You need to grow up and stop destroying genuinely nice people’s lives. 

(Source: taradactyldiary, via hope-inspire-believe)

September 13th, 2014
at Maid Of Honour, English Afternoon Tea

at Maid Of Honour, English Afternoon Tea

September 11th, 2014
These are the years of our youth that should be copious in love, passion and excitement. Let’s take our chances on the undiscovered and not settle for anything less than absolute bliss.
September 7th, 2014
It has been an incredible weekend. I have never been so ill in the last year as I have this weekend, but I have also never been so happy and carefree. Scrolling through my Instagram photos, I could put life into perspective: 5 weeks ago I was starting work, 8 weeks ago I was graduating, 11 weeks ago I was having this amazing time in Bristol, and 13 weeks ago I was sitting my finals. 33 weeks ago, I was still happily in a relationship. 
This year has been absolutely incredibly rollercoastery and full of change, good and bad. I’ve cycled through 2 odd relationships, ruined a few lives, failed a few exams, graduated, started working for the first time, moved back to London after 7 years, and felt every single emotion known to me. 
But this weekend was good. Do you know why it was good? Because for the first time, I was happy with myself. I wasn’t being happy for no one else, I was being happy for the sake of being happy. On Friday I was hideously ill, I came home after a 13 hour shift because the hospital wouldn’t let me leave as we were so understaffed. On my arrival there was an array of delicious food laid out for me by my amazing housemates! I was also drugged up on 3 different painkillers that I slept until 3pm on Saturday. On Saturday we had a housewarming party, I saw my friends from high school mingle with my friends from Warwick, and fun was to be had by all. I saw my family today, and I’m so grateful for living close to them, and I see my mum often. I came back and cycled 8km along the Thames path with my housemate, we came home and had an impromptu BBQ and BBQ’d an apple pie and watched The Simpsons. I msg’d a few of my friends from near and afar, and I’m a few hours away from the start of another busy work week. 
I don’t feel that constant need to be on my phone anymore. I don’t have the constant need to satisfy another person. I don’t feel the jealously, and the constant want of another person, that something is missing in my life. I am upset that for 3 years of my life I was working towards being with someone who was incapable of giving themselves to me. And I accepted so little from him as okay, that I  completely destroyed myself. But now I am slowly getting back to being me again, loving life, and being with my friends. Loving London, the greenery, the beautiful open spaces, the convenience of the transport system, the fact that there is always something to do!
I feel free, unbound from the constant anxiety and shit that I took from him. How someone was able to wind so many people around their little finger is beyond me. People like him should not be allowed to go near other people. He had me under his thumb, and I shall never allow anyone to do this to me again. 
So I will have my closure. Not to him, but to the truth. Every single person involved in this car wreck will be told the truth. And I shall rest my case.
I am moving on, and the future looks good, it looks so much better than it did with him. And I will be happy, and I will be free =)

It has been an incredible weekend. I have never been so ill in the last year as I have this weekend, but I have also never been so happy and carefree. Scrolling through my Instagram photos, I could put life into perspective: 5 weeks ago I was starting work, 8 weeks ago I was graduating, 11 weeks ago I was having this amazing time in Bristol, and 13 weeks ago I was sitting my finals. 33 weeks ago, I was still happily in a relationship. 

This year has been absolutely incredibly rollercoastery and full of change, good and bad. I’ve cycled through 2 odd relationships, ruined a few lives, failed a few exams, graduated, started working for the first time, moved back to London after 7 years, and felt every single emotion known to me. 

But this weekend was good. Do you know why it was good? Because for the first time, I was happy with myself. I wasn’t being happy for no one else, I was being happy for the sake of being happy. On Friday I was hideously ill, I came home after a 13 hour shift because the hospital wouldn’t let me leave as we were so understaffed. On my arrival there was an array of delicious food laid out for me by my amazing housemates! I was also drugged up on 3 different painkillers that I slept until 3pm on Saturday. On Saturday we had a housewarming party, I saw my friends from high school mingle with my friends from Warwick, and fun was to be had by all. I saw my family today, and I’m so grateful for living close to them, and I see my mum often. I came back and cycled 8km along the Thames path with my housemate, we came home and had an impromptu BBQ and BBQ’d an apple pie and watched The Simpsons. I msg’d a few of my friends from near and afar, and I’m a few hours away from the start of another busy work week. 

I don’t feel that constant need to be on my phone anymore. I don’t have the constant need to satisfy another person. I don’t feel the jealously, and the constant want of another person, that something is missing in my life. I am upset that for 3 years of my life I was working towards being with someone who was incapable of giving themselves to me. And I accepted so little from him as okay, that I  completely destroyed myself. But now I am slowly getting back to being me again, loving life, and being with my friends. Loving London, the greenery, the beautiful open spaces, the convenience of the transport system, the fact that there is always something to do!

I feel free, unbound from the constant anxiety and shit that I took from him. How someone was able to wind so many people around their little finger is beyond me. People like him should not be allowed to go near other people. He had me under his thumb, and I shall never allow anyone to do this to me again. 

So I will have my closure. Not to him, but to the truth. Every single person involved in this car wreck will be told the truth. And I shall rest my case.

I am moving on, and the future looks good, it looks so much better than it did with him. And I will be happy, and I will be free =)

View from the floating restaurant! I’ll be back here one day for my first property :D

View from the floating restaurant! I’ll be back here one day for my first property :D

Putney Bridge, 3am, with a raging red full moon #latergram

Putney Bridge, 3am, with a raging red full moon #latergram

September 4th, 2014

It’s been a while Tumblr, it’s been a while

And whilst I’ll spend time updating this with my thoughts, I thought I’d spend some time reflecting on the past year.

To be honest, time flies. To think 6 weeks ago I was graduating, and 6 months ago I didn’t even know wherr I’d be for the next 2 years.

The most important thing is that I am happier now. I don’t love as much as I thought I would, I poured my heart and love and time and effort into someone who couldn’t return my affections. I found someone who I had soo much chemistry with, but had no balls on him. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone I connected with as much as him, but I think that was completely circumstantial. It was based on the fact that it was wrong, and it was a secret, our little thing. It was invigorating and sensual, and every little touch I went crazy. I learnt nearly everything about how amazing being together physically should be, but also endured every emotional heartbreak and more. What kept us together was the physical attraction, and what ripped us apart was his lack of commitment, his fear of giving his time to another, his selfish needs of another person, and his fleeting promises. In a way, there’s nothing more disgusting than seeing someone trying to claw through their past and present mistakes, the pitiful excuses for breaking the heart of someone who wholeheartedly loved them. There is nothing he can do. He slowly broke me, the years. I was a slave to his manipulative ways, and he is not a good person. I have no respect for him, and once he works through his childish ways, he may get better, but not with me.

I am thankful to have met him, he made me feel things I never thought I could. But that part of my life is over now. He’s had enough chances to prove himself and he never did. I can’t risk having my life screwed up over and over again by him. Maybe his feelings are real, but his actions are just shit.

So to you my dear, I hope you have a good birthday, eat lots and play with the dog. Love your parents and your grandma, and take care of yourself. One day you’ll understand my decisions, and with that you’ll realise that your actions have consequences.


The goal isn’t too sleep with as many people as possible, but to find that one person you want to sleep with for the rest of your life. Never settle for less than you believe you deserve. You live once. Don’t settle for subpar in anything you do.

People will come into your life and they will leave. There’s no point in forcing them to stay. Instead, enjoy their company while it lasts.