It’s just one crap thing after another.
Sod’s law states that everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
It’s like the Gods have something against us. That we were destined to meet, to fall in love, and to never be together.
I feel cheated. I feel cheated of a great love that I could have had, should have had, and would have had.
Please, if there is a God out there. Cut us some goddamn slack. Please can you not see that we are HAPPY together?! Give us that opportunity, away from all the rest of the shit, to just BE.
I want to be carefree. To pick up a bag, to hold his hand, and to travel the world. I want our meetings to be natural, loving, free, fun, and relaxing. I feel we have been robbed of our time to just be us. I feel like so many things, so many people have got in our way, are still in our way.
I’m exhausted. Not because of him, or us. But because of how the universe has been unfair on us. We’ve had to work so hard at something that should be so simple.
Please God, Jesus, almighty Allah. Someone out there hear my plea. Just cut us some slack, and let us have our time to be together.
Those words that I had been dreaming to hear from him. It was the most sad situation to hear such words, as he cried, and I cried, it was a moment of intense vulnerability and pure emotion that it was almost unbearable. But it was beautiful, the honesty that came out of our night, because that was make or break. But we are one, and in that moment, I’ve never wanted to be with someone so much as I did him. I wanted to shield him from the entire world, to tell him that he didn’t have to be scared anymore, to hold him so tightly and to never let go. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me, and to tell him to fight for me.
And as we lay in bed, when I looked into those sad, wet, tired eyes of his, I knew that I wanted him. My heart almost broke in 2. From the pain, and from the sadness. The pain, and realisation of a person who lied to me for so long, but also the desperation and sadness that he wanted to make it better.
And suddenly he looked so young, he looked lost, vulnerable, scared. And I wanted to protect him, from all that pain.
I can’t wait for the day when I can call him mine, when I don’t have to share him with anyone else, where I can have all his love, and passion. For someone to trust my secrets, my fears, and my ambitions with. I hope that that day comes soon, and we can have our ‘summer’, one which we talked of so fondly and with so much excitement. To go on our adventures and walks hand in hand, to take silly photos and bathe in the warmth of us. And maybe for me that’s all a dream I have created in my head, but I’m hoping with all my heart that it will come true.
Don’t promise that you will never hurt me, just promise that you will never lie to me.
I love you too.